NomansLan: Another quote.

For all the Conservatives out there this is for you. If you are not a conservative don't let this offend you.
Sincerely, Lani

Dear Obama, Stop blaming Bush. It's getting old. Sincerely, Everyone., Talking in weird voices with your best friend for no real reason at all. and DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN.

40 ways to make the pizza man nervous.

1. While you are you are making an order, randomly start pressing the numbers on the phone and tell the guy to stop doing it.

2. Make up a credit card name and ask if they accept it.

3. Ask for a Big Mac, French fries and a Large Coke.

4. Finish the order with: “Remember, this conversation never happened”.

5. Tell him you’ve got another pizza delivery on the other line and you’re buying from the one who offers the lowest price.

6. Just give him your address and say “Surprise me”. Then hang up.

7. Answer his questions with other questions.

8. Spell the ingredients.

9. Stutter every time you say something with the letter “P”

10. Ask him if they have pizza.

11. Say “Hello” and act as if he called you.

12. Make your order being very decided and secure, then when he asks you if you would like a drink with the pizza, act as if you were confused.

13. Change your accent every 5 seconds.

14. Ask for 56 pepperoni slices followed by an equation.

15. If he repeats the order to make sure, say “Ok, it’s $17.90, please proceed to the next window to pick up your order”.

16. Explain him that you want to rent a Pizza.

17. Ask if you can keep the box. When he answers yes, make a huge sigh of relief.

18. Ask him if they exploit child labor.

19. Tell him to make sure that your pizza is dead.

20. Imitate the voice of the guy taking the order.

21. Eliminate the verbs of everything you say.

22. Tell him that there’s a surprise party at yours and that you would appreciate if the delivery boy could hide behind the couch until the celebrated one comes in to surprise him/her.

23. Ask if you could see the menu.

24. Warn them that they have no idea of what they are dealing with by supplying this order.

25. Ask him which ingredient is better for a meal with a specific type of wine.

26. Burp and then tell your dog that he should be ashamed.

27. Ask only for one slice.

28. Psychoanalyze the guy taking the order.

29. Complain about the service. Call again two hours later saying that you were drunk and that you are sorry about what you said.

30. Tell the guy taking the order to tell the one in charge to tell the supervisor that he’s fired.

31. Randomly start swearing to someone who is apparently next to you.

32. Stop speaking every 10 seconds and start playing an instrument.

33. Tell a secret code to the guy taking the order and tell him to memorize it for orders you’ll make in the future.

34. Ask for mushrooms as the first ingredient, then before you hang up, say “no mushrooms please”. Then hang up before he can say anything.

35. when he repeats the order, correct him changing an ingredient, then correct him again, and again. The third time ask him if it’s his first day working there.

36. Breath loudly.

37. Ask him how many whales/dolphins had to die to make that pizza.

38. Avoid using the word “PIZZA” by any means. If the guy taking the order says it, hang up saying “Please, don’t use that word”.

39. Make the order during a car chase on TV. When there are gunshots, yell “Aaarghhh”

40. If the guy taking the order doesn’t take any of the previous jokes, ask him if there’s any other who would take them.

NomansLan

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Another quote.

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40 ways to make the pizza man nervous.